how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
