I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize
