just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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