Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
