Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
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