I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
True strength comes from lack of pants
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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