I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
