This girl is more easily done than said...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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