So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
