they need to just BURY HIM!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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