She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
