Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
