my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My bed smells like the plague
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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