You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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