Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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