so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i would one night stand the shit outta him
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
