Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
