The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
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