why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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