My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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