he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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