end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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