the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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