I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
