Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
