just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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