why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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