I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize