Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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