shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
