would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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