first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I think i got beer on your cat.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
