(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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