If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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