I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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