Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just had sex bonerless
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Randomize
