your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
