I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
