if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
