I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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