i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
