I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
