idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I lost the right to judge tonight
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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