It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
