we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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