I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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