I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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