and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
