After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
