the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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