i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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