If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
she looked like the before picture.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize