Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Dick very happy bro
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
