Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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