This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
