my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
