nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
