I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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