arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Bring me that man meat
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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